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Author: Subject: My New Query ... Help me with it please! UPDATED
raian76
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[*] posted on 6/19/2010 at 12:01 PM


Much better Garry, you're getting there!
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GarryMcL
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[*] posted on 6/19/2010 at 01:54 PM


I was getting ready to print out a copy of which I was going to send an agent, when my printer ran out of black ink .... I thought ... grrrrrrr ... then I thought ... hmmmm, maybe it isn't quite ready yet ... So I will wait for more words from the group.

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Nancy G.
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[*] posted on 6/19/2010 at 02:24 PM


Gary, take the ink cartridge out a shake it real good, then put it back in. Maybe that will get you that one more copy.
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Michy
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[*] posted on 6/19/2010 at 05:57 PM


Let's start with just the first paragraph:

........

I believe (why should the agent care what you believe? The first sentence is the very first impression you make to the agent and you want to stroke his/her ego, not your own.) that the author/agent partnership is like a two(hyphen)edged sword(colon, not period): The agent expects is expecting quality from the author and the author should expects the same from an agent. My research shows me that you have experience, quality(I'm curious how an agent has 'quality' - if you take the rest out of this sentence, it says 'you have quality', does that make sense?) and you represent in my genre (you don't have a genre, your novel does), commercial fiction. (at this point, as an agent, I would want to know how you found these things - it sounds like a form letter to me that you could send to ANY agent and if you're sending it this way to all the agents you query, knowing agents communicate with each other, it will show you didn't really do your homework. You should research the agent and actually find a book they have represented that you enjoy, that is popular and sold well, or that is similar to yours in style and genre. Yes, this is time consuming, but it shows you really DID do your research. Each query must be personalized to that specific agent for you to stand out from the crowd.)Therefore, I would like (why should the agent care what you like? Also, it's a given that you would like this. This is another place where you can stroke the agent's ego - I would be honored for you to consider my manuscript for representation with your agency.) for you to represent my novel.

.....


[Edited on 6-19-2010 by Michy]

[Edited on 6-20-2010 by Michy]




Love and stuff,
Michy
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Do just once what others say you can't do, and you will never pay attention to their limitations again." James R. Cook

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GarryMcL
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[*] posted on 6/19/2010 at 08:08 PM


Thanks Michy .......

Garry-




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