Stacie
Jr. Member Writer
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Registered: 3/31/2010
Location: Folsom, CA
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Applying for a job....
I'm applying for two different teaching jobs. It has been 8yrs since I taught in a formal school setting. Yesterday I wrote up my resume and I think
it is well put together. Tonight I'm working on my cover letter.
My fiance left for work just before 8 and walked back in the door half an hour ago. He buzzed home (a whole mile) during his break remembering that we
have the recycle pick up tomorrow and he had stacked a bunch of stuff to the side of the house. He pulls in and says I look like I wanted to cry. LOL
I must admit the sound of the door opening in the middle of the night when I'm here alone kind of freaked me out. But, really its the stress of
writing this letter.
It's true. I want to cry. I want this job. 8th grade science and 6th grade language arts teacher http://www.marblevalleyschool.org
Can anyone with the time and energy please read what I have so far for my cover letter and give me feedback? One of my goals is to cover the big gap
in time I did not work in the school system while showing it as a strength to my qualifications. Does it work? Any thoughts on the tone? The info?
etc.?
Thank you in advance for any feedback.
**************
To Whom It May Concern:
It is with great interest that I submit to you my resume for consideration for a teaching position at Marble Valley School. My teaching style centers
on providing for the variety of learning styles and talents of my students. Even if teaching science lessons, I work to incorporate hands-on
experiments, opportunities for artistic expression, and activities that are both group oriented and individually focused.
Though the schools I worked at may not have valued the diverse strengths of the students, it was my goal to be sure each felt special in my classroom.
One of my most joyful experiences was in personally reading aloud chapters of the science book onto an audiotape for a high functioning autistic
student with a severe reading handicap. His grade rose from a D+ to a B-. His self-esteem at finally being able to demonstrate his true understanding
of the science lessons rose even higher.
I believe that life is full of rich experiences from which we can learn lessons we never dreamed existed. In 2002, I was presented with the
opportunity to pursue my competitive goals as an equestrian by becoming a full time rider for the horses of Freestyle Farm in Loomis, California. My
position as a horse trainer included working as the farm’s riding instructor. In that position I was able to travel, train with coaches from Germany,
Spain, Portugal, Switzerland, and Austria, and eventually meet my lifetime goal of competing at the international level. My skills as an educator were
strengthened as I developed my own curriculum and lesson plans. The students ranged from children to senior citizens and beginners to advanced riders.
More often than not, the riders were not naturally kinesthetic learners. By identifying their unique strengths I was able to tailor my instructional
methods to help them succeed in the physical demands of riding.
Now that the direction of the farm’s business is drawing to a close, I am returning to my calling as a teacher in the elementary to middle school
grades. It is readily apparent that the philosophy of Marble Valley School and its values are in line with my own. The opportunity to work at such a
school is a very exciting. If I can provide you with any other information regarding my experience and qualifications, please let me know.
I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you for your consideration,
Stacie
Address
email
phone #
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Michy
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I really like it, except for this one small thing: Though the schools I worked at may not have valued the diverse strengths of the students,
That sort of sounds like your putting down other places you've taught - and it's not good to bash the ex-employers, since this place might be an
ex-employer at some point, and they wouldn't want you to bash them - AND, it's been proven in human resources that most hiring professionals believe
that if the employee complains about the business/company/organization/etc that it's usually the employee who is hard to work with, not the place.
Other than that, you wrote a heartfelt but professional letter. If you can address it to someone, I think a name would be much better, or at
least:
Ladies and/or Gentlemen: -is still better then 'to whom it may concern'.
Love and stuff,
Michy
~~Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations~~
Do just once what others say you can't do, and you will never pay attention to their limitations again." James R. Cook
-----------------------------------------
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sharkbytes
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Yup! Only "Though the schools I worked at may not have valued the diverse strengths of the students, it was my goal to be sure each felt special in my
classroom" should be changed.
In that sentence you hint at things that are a personal beef, not something that says anything about your qualifications. Just tweak it to leave out
how the schools felt, but do include how you treated the students.
I hardly noticed you were telling about a section that wasn't a paying job. Had to go back and say, it must be the riding.
Hope it works and gets you the job!
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lydya
Accentuate Writer!
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Yup, avoid mentioning past problems with previous school. In my experience, they will ask you on the interview but do not mention it unprompted. Good
luck!
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Nancy G.
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The other thing I caught was "Even if teaching science lessons--". It makes science lessons sound unimportant, which is not what you intend. Perhaps,
"Especially when teaching science lessons I work to---."
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Cyndee
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Yep, Before I read the rest of the comments, that one statement really stood out as possibly something more negative. I was on a school board for four
years and we did check references with past employers. It would be best (if there was something negative there) to change that sentence so that it
doesn't produce a red flag question from a potential employer.
In your resume, don't forget to point out any classes you may have taken, awards you may have won, articles you may have written and volunteer work
you may have done. These things may make you stand out in a crowd of qualified applicants.
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justkat73
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I concur with everyone else.
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Paul
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The only add to wording I might make is to drop the "more often than not" clause in the third paragraph. Has a strange feeling to it that I can't
really explain.
Some of the info in the cover letter seems like a rehashing of what I expect is already covered in the resume. You might benefit by shortening it and
not going into work things. Instead show a little bit of your personal self in the intro letter, prep the reader to be excited about your resume, and
leave the professional stuff out of it.
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Stacie
Jr. Member Writer
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Location: Folsom, CA
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thank you everyone for the feedback. I was wondering too about the first sentence of the second paragraph. The school I am applying for makes a big
distinction about their difference from public schools and I wanted to demonstrate that I understand that. Nothing bad happened in my prior jobs, but
yes, it sounds as if there is bitterness.
Thanks Nancy, you are correct it sounds as if science isn't that important- hardly the impression I wish to make!
Paul, thank you. This is a bit different than what is in my resume, but perhaps not different enough. I was talking to a friend of my father's who is
a recruiter for a major corporation. This person told me to be sure to cover the gap in my teaching experience - even though I was working in a
teaching capacity.
One big mistake I made 8yrs ago was leaving that job without getting letters of recommendation to have for the future. Live and learn.
Again, thank you for the input. I'm reworking it now and feeling much better about the finsihed product.
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Stacie
Jr. Member Writer
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Location: Folsom, CA
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A new draft with another question
Okay, another draft- modified based on suggestions.
I left a voicemail today to see if I could get a name for the administrator, or person responsible for staff... but, I imagine it is the administrator
primarily.
Do you think Dear Administration, would be appropriate?
I really appreciate this help folks.
******
Ladies and Gentlemen,
It is with great interest that I submit to you my resume for consideration for a teaching position at Marble Valley School. My teaching style centers
on providing for the variety of learning styles and talents of my students. Whether teaching science, language arts, or math, I work to incorporate
hands-on activities, opportunities for artistic expression, and design lessons that are both group oriented and individually focused.
I believe that life is full of rich experiences from which we can learn lessons we never dreamed existed. When children develop as life long learners
with a thirst for discovery, they have the confidence and skills to take advantage of the opportunities presented to them. I am a living example of
this. In 2002, I was presented with the opportunity to pursue my competitive goals as an equestrian by becoming a full time rider for the horses of
Freestyle Farm in Loomis, California. Our objective was to obtain competitive success while demonstrating compassionate training based on the nature
of the horse. I was able to travel, train with coaches from Germany, Spain, Portugal, Switzerland, and Austria, and eventually meet my lifetime goal
of competing at the international level. My position included working as the farm’s riding instructor. Developing my own curriculum and lesson plans
strengthened my skills as an educator. In general, the riders were not naturally kinesthetic learners. By identifying their unique strengths, I was
able to tailor my instructional methods to help them succeed in the physical and mental demands of riding. Proudly, I watched my students meet and
exceed their goals.
Now that the farm’s business is changing its direction, I am returning to my calling as a teacher in the elementary to middle school grades. I bring
with me a diverse range of interests and life experiences. From my competitive adventures I know that behind every first place finish there are many
times we may not place at all. However, every experience is a success when we find a way to grow from it. I believe that I am a teacher with the
skills, character and philosophy to be a vital member of the staff of Marble Valley School. The opportunity to work at such a school is very exciting.
If I can provide you with any other information regarding my experience and qualifications, please let me know.
I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you for your consideration,
Stacie
email
phone #
[Edited on 7/28/2010 by Stacie]
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justkat73
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I like it. The only thing I would maybe suggest is that if they make a huge distinction between themselves and a public school, you might want to
mention something about your knowledge of that and why you feel you would be an asset to that. You've described your skills, but maybe putting them in
conjunction with knowledge of the school itself might help grease the wheels?
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susan.ayers
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I agree with Kathy 100% - I would incorporate something about how you can creatively design lessons and incorporate hands-on activities, etc., while
staying aligned with the mission statement of the school.
Here in Va., we have the SOL's and teachers are not really supposed to veer from that curriculum. The lesson plans are very standardized - everything
centers around the test scores at the end of the year. So artistic opportunities are not abundant and a resume that stated that might be
overlooked.
Other than that - I think your letter is very well-written and I wish you luck!!
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Paul
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Any reason you couldn't go back and ask for some letters of reference now? 8 years isn't all that long and most folks are willing to be helpful.
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tlschultz
Master Writer
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I agree with Paul, I would think letters of recommendation would be essential. I taught for a while in the public schools in CA, and they required a
minimum of 3 letters of rec. I would guess private schools would want the same. I lost my last teaching job after the 06-07 school year, and after
searching unsuccessfully for a year and a half, I gave up. Good luck to you!
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