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Author: Subject: Title help
wendymillerwrites
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[*] posted on 5/15/2012 at 06:21 AM
Title help


Hi, all! I haven't posted here very often, and not at all lately. I've been busy writing, writing, writing.

I have a romance that I am doing some final edits on and getting ready to self publish. I have some title ideas, but I'm conflicted. I was hoping that I could give a little info and get some suggestions.

(If this is in the wrong place, please tell me and I'll gladly move it. It just seemed like the best fit.)

Basic idea behind my story is this:


My main character is named Lacey. In the story, she finds out that basically everyone in her life is lying to her or about her in one way or another. These lies are huge lies that change her entire life. She tells one lie, hiding her pregnancy from the father of her baby, after she breaks up with him because he kept a huge secret about her from her (I know, it sounds confusing, but I don't want to give too much away! lol)

With that said, here are the two titles I'm playing with, and why I'm hesitant on each:

"Lies About Lacey" I feel it's good in describing what'll happen, but it feels...clunky to me. It just doesn't feel like it rolls off the tongue like a good title should, you know?

"Lacey's Lies" This has the...lyrical quality that makes a good title. But to me, if I saw it on the book aisle at Walmart or on Amazon's site, I'd be expecting a book in which Lacey is the one telling the lies. So I feel that would be misleading and might lead readers to not like the book because it's not what they're expecting.

I considered "The Truth About Lacey" as well, but I remember a Lifetime movie years ago called "The Truth About Jane" and I'm a little concerned people might expect something similar if they saw that movie."Lacey's Truth" has also rolled through my mind, but I kind of feel the same way about it as I do about "Lacey's Lies".

With the little I told (and if you need more details, tell me and I'll share some more) about the plot, what do you think of my titles? Do you think one of them is better than the other? Do you think I should go with something else completely? Any opinions, advice, thoughts?




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Nancy G.
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[*] posted on 5/15/2012 at 08:33 AM


Of the three, I like 'THe Truth about Lacey' best, but I think there is probably a better one out there.



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wendymillerwrites
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[*] posted on 5/15/2012 at 09:21 AM


Yeah, I'm not really thrilled with any of them after some more thought. I've started toying with a few more. I'm playing with "Tattered Truth", "Pieces of Truth", and "Shattered Lies", at the moment.

I'd had a working title I was fairly happy with, but when I did a search on Amazon, I was FLOODED with books that already had that name, many of which were in the romance genre, too. So, now I'm trying to like something else, but it's hard. lol




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Michy
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[*] posted on 5/15/2012 at 11:39 AM


I'm thinking on this one... what's your teaser for the synopsis you'll put up on sites where folks buy it?





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wendymillerwrites
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[*] posted on 5/15/2012 at 03:37 PM


I'm still tweaking a bit, so it might change a little, but this is what I've got for the teaser right now:

“I think your mother had an affair with my business partner.”

With that one statement, Jon managed to completely destroy Lacey's world. Everything she thought she knew turned out to be a lie, and no one would tell her the truth. She couldn't even trust her own mother anymore. As she investigates the past, trying to sort truth from lie, she's grateful for Jon. At least he's on her side.

After his wife betrayed him and killed their child, Jon has sworn off love. He'll commit to fun and sex, but he makes sure that women understand he won't commit to anything beyond that. His instant attraction to Lacey surprises him, then, because she seems so innocent. What surprises him more are the feelings he begins to feel for her.

Just as he's about to tell her how he feels, Lacey discovers the secrets he's been keeping. Can they move past it? Even if they can, is Lacey keeping her own secrets that might destroy what's left of them?




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raian76
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[*] posted on 5/15/2012 at 05:51 PM


How about "Tangled Deceit"

That's the first thing I thought of when I read your synopsis.
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[*] posted on 5/15/2012 at 06:09 PM


I'm leaning the way Linda is going... Lacey is a name, and while the alliteration is lyrical and all that, she's not someone WE care about (yet). YOU care about her, because you know her, but we don't... so why do we care what lies or if she lies or whatever. I think something that is more descriptive of the novel itself and less specific to Lacey might be a better choice.

I'm still thinking on it though... I'll be back!




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Michy
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Do just once what others say you can't do, and you will never pay attention to their limitations again." James R. Cook

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[*] posted on 5/15/2012 at 06:23 PM


Quote: Originally posted by wendymillerwrites  
I'm still tweaking a bit, so it might change a little, but this is what I've got for the teaser right now:

“I think your mother had an affair with my business partner.”

With that one statement, Jon managed to completely destroy Lacey's world. Everything she thought she knew turned out to be a lie, and no one would tell her the truth. She couldn't even trust her own mother anymore. As she investigates the past, trying to sort truth from lie, she's grateful for Jon. At least he's on her side.

After his wife betrayed him and killed their child, Jon has sworn off love. He'll commit to fun and sex, but he makes sure that women understand he won't commit to anything beyond that. His instant attraction to Lacey surprises him, then, because she seems so innocent. What surprises him more are the feelings he begins to feel for her.

Just as he's about to tell her how he feels, Lacey discovers the secrets he's been keeping. Can they move past it? Even if they can, is Lacey keeping her own secrets that might destroy what's left of them?


Your first paragraph is past tense - the teaser should, like a synopsis to an agent or editor, be present tense, but regardless, it shouldn't change back and forth between present and past like it does here. You might want to change it to:

With that one statement, Jon manages to completely destroy Lacey's world. Everything she thinks she knows turns out to be a lie, and no one will tell her the truth. She can't even trust her own mother any(space)more. (While) As she investigates the past, trying to sort truth from lie (truth is plural or singular, lie is singular - did you intend to use the singular of both words?), she's grateful for Jon. At least he's on her side.

.....

I have a slight problem with this in that you're using absolutes: everything, no one. But then later, you say Jon is on her side - so can she trust him to tell her the truth? If so, then it's not 'no one'. See?

Also, you say the one statement destroyed her world - but then you go on and say it's really everyone lying to her that's destroying her world. Also, since Jon is someone she's grateful for, JON didn't destroy her world with that one statement - the lies destroyed her world, not Jon, and he's honestly helping her, it seems, by being the only one who tells her the truth.

I think something like:

With that one statement, everything Lacey thinks she believes come crashing down around her.

Might be better...?

I know you didn't ask for a critique, but this part is so crucial to getting readers... I hope you don't mind the opinion. If you do, say so and I'll promptly shut up!




Love and stuff,
Michy
~~Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations~~


Do just once what others say you can't do, and you will never pay attention to their limitations again." James R. Cook

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[*] posted on 5/15/2012 at 06:37 PM


I don't mind the opinion at all. As I said, I'm still tweaking it anyway.

I'll try to explain a little more so you'll see why I used the "everything" and "no one" type stuff.

Her mother is rich, and married a rich man. She grew up thinking these were her parents. When Jon confronts her, she thinks he's wrong and sets out to prove that. In doing so, she starts finding things that don't come right out and say the man she thought was her father wasn't her father, but they do hint at it - for example, her mother told her she'd gotten pregnant by her husband before the wedding, but her grandmother insists that Lacey's parents never slept together before the wedding. So it starts coming out that her parents, grandparents, etc. knew the truth and didn't tell her - hence, everyone and everything. She feels like she can't trust anything that she knows about herself.

While she thinks Jon is on her side, and he basically is, he is withholding secrets. He knows that his business partner, Jim, might be her biological father, but he doesn't tell her. It's not out of cruelty or intent to deceive, but because Jim asked him not to. Jim doesn't want to uproot her life if he's wrong, but he can't get her mother to talk to him and tell him the truth. When it does come out that Jim is her father, she figures out and Jon admits that he knew all along.

So that was why I said he was on her side - until she eventually finds out about what he kept from her, she thought he was on her side. Once she finds out that he kept that from her, she feels that he's the same as everyone else who's lied to her.

I do see your point, on all of the things you pointed out. As I said, I'm still working on it, so I will definitely take your suggestions into consideration as I continue to work on it. I am always open to a critique - can't get better if I don't listen to others with more experience, can I? :D

I also like "Tangled Deceit". I'd jotted down some more ideas, and both of those words were actually part of my other ideas, just not together. I'm thinking that just might be it! Thank you.

[Edited on 5/16/2012 by wendymillerwrites]




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[*] posted on 5/15/2012 at 07:02 PM


"The Lies Lovers Tell..."

My only title suggestion.

What made you decide to self-publish?





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[*] posted on 5/15/2012 at 07:21 PM


What made me decide to self-publish? That's a really good question.

I've always wanted to be a writer. My grandmother has been insistent since I wrote my first handwritten story at age 12 that if I kept at it, I would eventually made it.

I've sent off queries on a few different books I've written, and always get shot down just in the query. I never even get far enough to send in a manuscript. Yet everyone who reads what I write loves it and thinks it's great - and I deliberately give it to people that I know, without doubt, will tell me honestly "This is crap." And in fact, they have told me more than once that something is crap. But the stuff I have ready to send off - they love.

I actually hadn't considered self-publishing as a real option until after I got a Kindle. Although not everything on there is self-published, some is, and quite obviously so. I've been out of work a while, I homeschool my kids. Making it as a writer is the ideal way to provide for my family while still working. Plus I love to do it.

I thought self-publishing would be a good way to get some of my work out there. If people buy it, I make money. If they don't, I keep working and trying to improve. This particular book that I'm writing about in this post is actually one I wrote years ago, and I'm re-reading it, making changes that I can see desperately need to be made now. When I wrote it, I wasn't as...comfortable in my voice as I am now. I can see spots where it was coming through, and others where it wasn't. I'm polishing those "wasn't" spots and making a few changes here and there, mostly to keep it current (for example, changing answering machines to voice mail, since I don't know many people with an actual answering machine anymore.).

It might turn out to be the worst thing I ever do, self-publishing my book. But then again, I've found quite a few self--published authors that I've grown to really enjoy. Maybe I can be one of them for someone else.




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[*] posted on 5/16/2012 at 01:32 AM


Do you have a cover yet?
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wendymillerwrites
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[*] posted on 5/16/2012 at 05:18 AM


I don't have a completed cover yet. I have an idea for it that I'm working on.



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[*] posted on 5/16/2012 at 05:28 AM


Well, I'm AWF's graphic and cover artist, so if you would like I can help you with that.
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[*] posted on 5/16/2012 at 09:12 AM


I just might take you up on that.



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